If you haven't heard me blog about Juanita More's Pride Party, you clearly must be new to this blog. It's the best party in the world. And if you're in SF and looking for a good time, you gotta be there! See my coverage from 2008's party for a taste. Go to Juanita's website for more info.
"WE WERE HERE: VOICES FROM THE AIDS YEARS IN SAN FRANCSICO"
Director: David Weissman and Bill Weber
Trevor's Rating: 5 / 5 Stars
I can recall sobbing uncontrollably exactly three times in my adult life. Last night was one of those times. I ventured out to the Castro theatre for the "sneak peek" screening of "We Were Here: Voices from the AIDS Years in San Francisco." I knew I was in for a tear-fest, but I had no idea just how incredibly moving and utterly devastating the film would be. Before the screening, both the filmmakers admitted not wanting to make this film -- how can you possible represent the horror of those years without doing some injustice, without leaving some story untold? The idea is daunting.
No documentary to my knowledge exists that chronicles these years so intently, most likely because these stories are so incredible painful to tell -- and just as painful to listen to and absorb. I can only imagine that this film's road to the screen is paved in rivers of tears. As someone who did not experience those years, these representations are my only access to the memory of an era that shaped my gay world. It's why I have the kind of sex I do. It's why I have so few gay mentors from that generation. It's why bathhouses closed and disco died. And it's probably why gay marriage is the 21st century gay raison d'être.
As such, I listen to these stories intently whenever I can, mostly in the form of movies -- Longtime Companion, It's My Party, Angels in America, Sadness, and the like. With the exception of William Yang's incredible Sadness, these representations are rarely retrospective. They are told from the battleground itself rather than the hill overlooking the cemetery years later. This kind of war analogy is invoked several times in the film: as one interviewee explains, AIDS was what World War II was to many Americans. But of course as a comparison it is somewhat limited in its utility. War involves a coordinated opponent that you can see or at least pinpoint on a map. AIDS turned gay men's own bodies against them, crippling the young and muscular as quickly as it did the old and infirm. And during the first years of the epidemic, they had absolutely no idea how it was transmitted or who might already be infected.
Five individuals -- four gay men and one woman -- narrate the film, each with a unique experience that adds a new facet to the incredibly rich and devastatingly moving story. A flower vendor remembers giving away flowers to neighbors who wanted to bury their friends with dignity but had no money to give. An artist chokes back tears as he relives his lover dying as he frantically drove him to the hospital -- and in a heartbreaking turn, losing a second lover to the disease a few years later. A volunteer at the AIDS ward in San Francisco's General Hospital remembers finding a way to be a part of a gay community in comforting those who were dying. Their stories are heart wrenching.
The film was screened to a sold out crowd at the Castro Theater. Many in the room had lived through those awful years -- some in San Francisco, others elsewhere. Sitting in that room full of so many sobbing, hurt, and mournful gay men was one of the most challenging experiences of my life. At one point early in the film, a series of self-portraits by the photographer John Davis flashed across the screen. The series, titled "FIERCE," shows the artist emaciated, his body decimated by his illness. His naked, pale figure is contorted, stretched into alarming positions. An IV line is implanted in his chest. The crowd was silent except for the wailing howl of one man towards the back who could no longer hold back his tears. Even now as I write this, I cannot help but bury my face in my hands and cry. I will never forget the sound of that man's anguish. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. (And I'm not the only one to have this experience at the premier, it seems.)
Davis' self-portraits are both grotesque and stunningly beautiful at the same time. After the film, the director noted that these photos documented the duality of the epidemic so beautifully that they helped him to conceive of the film. On the one hand, you have thousands of men dying -- leaving behind friends, lovers, tricks, clients, parents, children, and admirers. On the other, you have an outpouring of support from both gay men and those outside the community, helping to take care of those who were dying and to fight for the support HIV-positive people needed to survive. AIDS could have destroyed gay community. But it didn't. Gay men's resilience in the face of death itself is nothing short of awe-inspiring.
The moment the film ended and the credits began to roll, the floodgate of my emotions let loose. I bent over in my chair, put my head in my hands, and gasped for air in between sobs. The crowd rose to its feet for a standing ovation, but I could not get out of my chair. I stayed in my seat, bawling. Crying for all those men I never knew, who I wish desperately were here today. For all their sass, for all their sex, and for all their creativity that was snuffed out far before it's time. But they're not here. And that is one of the hardest parts about being a post-AIDS gay man for me. Missing what I did not know. Longing for what I cannot have.
Rare is the occasion for a transwoman character and a lesbian character to be seen romantically involved on screen. And for that, this movie brings us a new kind of story that is exciting and refreshing. The actor playing Madona is sadly not a transsexual -- as director Marcelo Laffitte reveals in an interview about the film's premier at Tribeca. But Cotrim does a great job bringing the quirky, eccentric Madona to life -- and does an especially good job when Madona goes in drag as a man to meet Elvis' parents. A male actor playing a transwoman playing a straight man. Incredible.
This film is something like a romantic comedy with a dash of drama thrown in, and should be regarded as such. It doesn't take itself too seriously, which is the film's best asset. The characters don't ponderously struggle with identity politics or over how they're going to have sex -- they just do it. This is what a lot of people -- trans, queer, and gay alike -- want out of LGBT cinema. Sure, we want to think critically about our lives and our politics, but sometimes we just want to munch on popcorn and see films that relate to our lives but that don't require too much thinking.
As I said, very charming. If the film makes a stop in your city, be sure to see it. No news on distribution yet, I think. Let's keep our fingers crossed!
This year will be my fifth Frameline Film Festival! I just can't believe it. In the previous years, I've seen dozens of amazing queer films that change my life on a regular basis. Seriously, many of them are incredible! Each year I try to best my previous year's record of number of screenings attended, and this year is no different -- I've schedule 17 screenings at Frameline34. Seriously! I'm that addicted. I send around my schedule of films to friends each year, poking them until they buy tickets and join me. I decided this year to post my selections here on this blog to encourage you to come out and see some great gay cinema. Hope to see you there! Check out my picks, after the jump!
This is a truly fascinating public television documentary -- "Take This Hammer" -- from the 1960s featuring James Baldwin touring San Francisco and meeting with African-American leaders. Footage from San Francisco State University's Digital Information Virtual Archive, copyright WNET.org. Here's their description:
KQED's mobile film unit follows author and activist James Baldwin in the spring of 1963, as he's driven around San Francisco to meet with members of the local African-American community. He is escorted by Youth For Service's Executive Director Orville Luster and intent on discovering: "The real situation of Negroes in the city, as opposed to the image San Francisco would like to present." He declares: "There is no moral distance ... between the facts of life in San Francisco and the facts of life in Birmingham. Someone's got to tell it like it is. And that's where it's at." Includes frank exchanges with local people on the street, meetings with community leaders and extended point-of-view sequences shot from a moving vehicle, featuring the Bayview and Western Addition neighborhoods. Baldwin reflects on the racial inequality that African-Americans are forced to confront and at one point tries to lift the morale of a young man by expressing his conviction that: "There will be a Negro president of this country but it will not be the country that we are sitting in now."
Under the new policy, those who test positive will begin ARV treatment immediately -- which is a radical shift from the decade-long strategy of waiting until the patient's CD4 count drops before a certain level. The policy is defended in two ways: First, that studies increasingly evidence that there can be significant damage done by the virus to HIV-positive people who do not begin treatment immediately. Second, that reducing viral loads in HIV-positive people will reduce rates of transmission:
A growing body of evidence indicates that HIV causes detrimental effects throughout the body long before the CD4 count falls into the "danger zone" for opportunistic infections (OIs).
The large SMART treatment interruption trial found that patients who stopped therapy when their CD4 count rose above 350 cells/mm3 -- and therefore had periods of unchecked viral replication -- not only had a higher rate of OIs and AIDS-related death, but also of non-AIDS conditions including cardiovascular, liver, and kidney disease.
Early treatment has been linked to decreased risk of morbidity and mortality even at CD4 counts above 500 cells/mm3. Many experts are convinced that chronic inflammation due to ongoing HIV replication contributes to non-AIDS conditions and what appears to be accelerated aging in people with HIV.
Another benefit of early ART is that it lowers the risk of HIV transmission, since treated HIV positive people have lower viral loads than untreated individuals, regardless of CD4 cell count. In 2008, Julio Montaner and colleagues from British Columbia presented a mathematical model showing that treating all people with HIV according to ART guidelines (which then had a CD4 count threshold of 350 cells/mm3) could dramatically reduce the rate of new infections.
At least two things worth mentioning:
1. This policy would put people on meds who may not need them until there are better, less toxic drugs available. For instance, someone diagnosed today may not have gone on them under previous guidelines for another two years. In two years, its possible that there will be ARVs available with fewer side effects.
2. Obviously, if implemented, this would eliminate the possibility of long-term non-progressors (a rare group of positive people who can live healthfully for many years before ARV therapeutic intervention is necessary). A friend of mine in SF who was infected in the mid-80s just went on ARVs for the first time. A very rare situation, indeed. But still worth mentioning.
Happy 2010, ladies! I've been a terribly negligent blogger as of the past month. First it was final exams, and then it was family and friends over the holidays. Alas, my month of intense pain and then leisure has now come to a halt and I'm back to the grind. Classes begin again today at Michigan. Too early if you ask me!
New Year's was spent with the San Francisco gay family -- temporarily located in Boston to be with our friend whose just moved there from SF -- and it was a lovely time. As if this photo doesn't say it all:
That was New Year's Day after having dinner in Boston's North End Italian District. We ate at Pomodoro, which changed our lives. Seriously: One of the best meals of my gay life. The woman who owns it runs it with her daughter who waits tables while she keeps everything moving. It's the size of a New York hotel room in there, but the food is delicious and she kept plying us with complimentary appetizers and desserts to "start the new year right." She's wonderful, and so is her eatery.
We stayed at our dear friend Ty's place -- who has just moved out East to the frozen Puritanical tundra that is Boston. He lives out in Jamaica Plain, which meant taking the orange line to and fro his place. Here we are bundled up within an inch of our lives waiting for the train to come in the decidedly unheated station:
Jesus we're adorable. I can hardly stand it myself, so I'll call this entry to an end. I'll get back to a regular routine of sharing gayness here this week. Sorry for the hiatus! Hope you had a lovely holiday season as well!
Today is Jackson's 30th birthday! All my SF friends are off to Palm Springs to celebrate. I sadly couldn't afford to join. Boo. Have so much fun this weekend, y'all! Pour one out for me!
A few of San Francisco's most infamous creatures of the night-life gathered in Union Square for a drag parade to celebrate national coming out day.
It was a guerilla attack on tourists, retail queens, bridge-and-tunnel shoppers and a few military families here for fleet week. The idea was to claim a little queer space (without a friggin' permit and budweiser sponsorship) in some areas of the city where it might shake some folks up.
We started at the cable car turn around (a sure bet if you're looking for overwhelmed SF tourists), then headed into the Westfield mall (complete with our police "escort" who reminded us to "move it along") and finished off in front of one of the Tenderloin's oldest gay/drag bars, Aunt Charlies.
If you're not familiar with San Francisco's style of drag, it has it's roots in punk rock and performance art, and almost always trys to push your buttons. Check out the pics below, filled to the brim with the best in gay tragedy!
San Francisco drag legend sang the album at the opening of a Major League Baseball game - The San Francisco Giants vs. The Arizona Diamondbacks last week. The first time a drag performer has ever done so! Bravo!
In December of '08 I joined San Francisco's HIV Prevention Planning Counsel (HPPC) as a youth service provider and as a member of the TMSM community. The HPPC is made up of service providers, researchers, community members and other interested persons, who advise the SF DPH on how to create real-world prevention strategies and how to prioritize CDC funding in SF.
In January '07 the HIV Prevention Section of the SF DPH prioritizd the creation of an action plan to adequately address the HIV prevention needs of Latino MSM. In early '08, Oscar Macias and Erik Dubon of the SF DPH convened a group of Latino MSM and allies to discuss a local Latino action plan for SF. The group enlised Rafael Diaz and Jorge Sanchez as consultants to assist in the creation of the Latino action plan.
This information is from their presentation to the HPPC on Sept. 10 '09. This will lay out an overview of their findings and their recommendations to the HPPC and SF DPH.
Final action plan N= approx. 239
Community Forum N= approx 45
Researcher Interviews N=6
Interviews w/ Latino MSM N=157
Dialouge w/ Providers N=31
Finding 1: San Francisco is a magnet for migration of young Latino men looking for sexual freedom and gender self-expression; they are treated as sexual objects and land in high risk contexts that put them at risk for substance abuse and HIV.
Recommendation 1: A guiding structure (perhaps a website online) that orients new waves of young Latino gay men who are newcomers to San Francisco; "landing pads" would be healthy and supportive contexts rather than situations of risk where Latino gay men are sexually objectified.
Finding 2: In San Francisco, it is very easy to find sex, but extremely difficult to find meaningful relationships. "Hot Sex" is the most valued commodity and men feel socially pressured to give up expectations of partnerships where they can integrate emotional and sexual satisfaction.
Recommendation 2: Programs that provide relevant and tailored education on the interconnection of sexuality, relationships, substances and HIV. Community building in context that emphasize a sense of familia.
Finding 3: Main reason for UAI (unprotected anal intercourse): perceived seroconcordance. Men are approaching HIV prevention by making assessments of HIV risk within particular sexual encounters - pursue risk reduction strategies other than condom use.
Recommendation 3: Programs that help men make sound and accurate assessments of HIV risk in different sexual contexts and situations, including knowledge of HIV status of self and sexual partners.
Finding 4: Stimulant use and participation in "Party and Play" (PNP) contexts are strong correlates of HIV risk. Sex under the influence is forced underground by stigmatizing attitudes and by health providers who do not address the issue.
Recommendation 4: Culturally relevant programs that address the functional use and impact of substances - emphasis on connection between stimulants and HIV. Need anti drug-stigma campaign and increased provider training.
Life Concerns and Priorities
Participants completed a brief survey listing 23 life concerns. They were asked to list and rank-order their 10 most important concerns:
Financial Well being 39%
Finding a good job 38%
Physical Health 34%
Depression/anxiety 24%
HIV/AIDS 21%
Having good friends 15%
Paying bills/debts 14%
Finding good housing 13%
Finishing school 13%
Emotional well-being 11%
Finding 5: Content of HIV prevention does not address the most pressing concerns of Latino gay men: Financial well being (#1) employment (#2) physical (#3) and mental (#4) health. Desire for improved physical and mental health is beyond issues related to HIV/AIDS (#5)
Recommendation 5: Programs need to address Latino gay men's concerns for job stability and financial well being; that is, connect HIV prevention with the existing with the strong motivation towards "Superacion" (improve one's situation - financial, educational, physical and emotional).
Finding 6: Latino English-speaking gay men have substantially lower rates of participation in Latino-identified HIV programs in the city - no HIV prevention programs specifically targeted to monolingual English-speaking Latino gay men.
Recommendation 6: Programs that welcome and target Latino English-speaking gay men need to be developed. However, this should not be done at the expense of existing programming designed for immigrant, Spanish-speaking men.
Finding 7: Riskiest group: older (over 35), English-speaking, unemployed, drug-using, HIV-positive, marginally housed, Latino gay men. Their risk is connected to poverty, social alienation, and social situation of vulnerability.
Recommendation 7: Create a program that targets the particular issues of older English-speaking Latino gay men of lower socioeconomic status who are marginally housed (mostly in SROs or shelters). The program should address issues of life stability, as well as access to culturally appropriate mental health and substance abuse services.
Finding 8: HIV positive men are reporting higher rates of risky sexual activity than HIV negetive men (59% v. 44%). Meanwhile, high rates of HIV stigma discourage disclosure.
Recommendation 8: Culturally tailored Prevention for Positives that addresses sexual behavior, HIV disclosure, and assessments of risk for HIV transmission among positive Latino men in a way that is non-stigmatizing. Campaigns aimed at reducing HIV stigmatization in the Latino gay community.
Finding 9: Non-gay identified men found in the social context that Latino gay men participate in: all (100%) straight-identified men interviewed were classified at HIV risk: these individuals unlikely to visit agencies or attend groups.
Recommendation 9: Programs tailored to MSM who identify as heterosexual should be developed, with targeted individual assessment and counseling by culturally trained prevention workers.
Finding 10: Many HIV prevention providers - often themselves members of the Latino gay community - are accomplishing very hard work under difficult circumstances.
Recommendation 10: Programs that address high burnout rates of HIV service providers. Existing Latino programs should be funded to carry out activites that prevent burnout and sustain the long-term, enthusiastic work of their front-line staff.
Whew! I know that was long, but it's good stuff. After some discussion on budget (pretty tall order for a city that just got it's state HIV prevention funds cut from 2.9 million to $500,000!) the HPPC voted unanimously to support the LAP recommendations.
The LAP team will be presenting they're more thorough data in a few months.
This is a HUGE loss for San Francisco. Apparently the station was recently bought out, and the new owner plans to totally revamp it -- a plan that includes firing all the staff (including Fernando and Greg). I LOVED Energy 92.7, even if they did occasionally play the same eight songs over and over and over again (but what radio station doesn't). Here's the official story:
Big changes are in store for San Francisco radio station KNGY-FM 92.7 ("Energy"), but the full ramifications aren't clear yet. Touted as one of the few expressly gay-oriented stations in the country, Energy has a new owner and is reportedly about to switch to a new format. And it was widely reported on Internet sites Friday that many staffers, including the popular morning team of Greg Sherrell and Fernando Ventura ("Fernando and Greg") had been fired.
On the station's Facebook followers' page Friday, one posting announced, "We are over everyone," and a later item read, "Thank you everyone for the kind words and memories. It is a sad day for radio, for dance music, for the LGBT community, for our staff, and for YOU, the listeners."
As of Friday afternoon, the station was still playing dance music and there was no word of an impending format change (then again, there never is in the radio business). Calls to the station were not returned.
Despite any evidence to suggest they are more susceptible to the disease, the SF Department of Public Health is advising that HIV-positive people take care to get the H1N1 vaccine when it becomes available:
San Francisco health officials stress there is no evidence to suggest that people living with HIV are any more susceptible to the swine flu than they would be for the seasonal flu. "They should think of it as the same as the seasonal flu. Whatever their reaction would be for the seasonal flu should be their reaction for H1N1," said Dr. Susan Fernyak, the health department's director of communicable disease control and prevention. "If they don't care about the seasonal flu, they shouldn't be up in arms about swine flu." Health officials have long advised HIV-positive people to get vaccinated for the seasonal flu each year, and that is still the case this year. Each year 6,000 Californians die due to influenza. "It is still a serious disease in California and people should get immunized for seasonal flu," said Amy Pine, director of the health department's communicable disease prevention unit. "Everyone should get [vaccinated], including people with weakened immune systems."
I teach 75 undergraduate students who will be prioritized in getting the vaccine. But I'm too old to be in the priority category. Hoping for the best!
If you live in SF, you're well aware of the multi-billion dollar effort to replace part of the Bay Bridge that connects SF to the East Bay. This weekend, the bridge is closed to drivers as they connect a 300-foot segment of the newly completed bridge. Liz Highleyman helpfully linked to the WebCam that's up, constantly relaying footage from the construction effort. Check it out!
Doug Murphy, 41, the owner of the venerable Castro gay bar Moby Dick, died of the H1N1 (swine flu) virus while visiting Palm Springs on Friday. Last month Murphy and his business partner opened another Castro bar, the Blackbird, to positive reviews.
I did not know Doug, but his bar was a favorite stop of mine as it was just two blocks from my old apartment in San Francisco. I enjoyed many two-for-one frozen margaritas there.
The fact that a 41 year old died from H1N1 is of course alarming. Universities across the country are gearing up for a potentially rough flu season on campus as students return from summer break. I certainly hope my students remain H1N1-free this term!
Oy what a day! I've been feeling really under the weather for a few days now, so I woke up early today to take my sick ass to an Urgent Care center here in San Francisco. Thank God for having health care! They did all kinds of tests. Won't know anything for a few days when the labs come through. Sigh.
I came home and passed out, but woke up to have my friend Mitchel pick me up to meet Jackson for another run at the Barney's Warehouse sale! Whereas last time the deals were sparse, today the sales were much more in our favor. I splurged on these AMAZING Creative Recreation hi-tops:
They're shiny and super gay gay gay! God bless these shoes. The best part: the $68 price tag (from $210). I can't wait to show them off! I also picked up a super sleek and sexy Raf Simons blazer that was on sale from one THOUSAND gay dollars to $200. It's very sexy, and fits brilliantly. I wasn't familiar with Raf, but his designs are pretty effing amazing. Check out some of these gay designs from last year's Autumn-Winter collection. Jeebus!
Anyhow. Now I'm home in bed. Let's hope I get better ASAP! I'm in San Francisco and this weekend is the American Sociological Association meeting for pete's sake! I will get better. I will! I WILL! Wish me luck! :)
Yesterday, Jackson, Mitchel, and I made the 90 minute drive up north to Guerneville for Lazy Bear Weekend -- which is exactly as it sounds. Lots of bears (and their admirers), laying around in the sun, boozing and generally having a blast. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and simply being able to escape the fog that's been plaguing San Francisco for weeks now was a *huge* relief. Our day started off a bit slow, but quickly picked up as we met new friends and adopted a few twinks along the way.
I thought I'd upload a few choice photos of the fun, though sadly I realized when I got home that I had somehow managed to take photos of only a small handful of real live bears. Oh well!
To start, here's the group of us all rubbing a very handsome Lebanese guy we picked up and molested for the last hour of our say. What a cutie! He came all the way from Kentucky to admire the bears!
And continuing the molestation, which was led by a very randy Mitchel:
After we started with the Russian River Resort's Pool Party, we moseyed on over to the Woods, which is a clothing-optional resort. RRR's party was "Not So Wild," while The Woods' was titled "Not So Mild." And indeed, there were naked bears abound, with the party culminating in a dozen guys bukkake'ing a drenched but ecstatic bear. Sadly, no photos were allowed, but I did manage to covertly snap this adorable pic of Jack and Mitchel swimming:
We continued the fun at the "Rock n' Roll" party at the Estate, which featured live bands and a large, grassy property that was riddled with bears basking in the sun! Fun!
Somewhere along the way, we picked up this adorable 21 year old named Brian, who we lovingly dubbed "The River Twink." We wound up feeling rather paternalistic for this fresh-faced bear-lover! But while some green-gilled gays become wallflowers at such events, Brian did his best to scrounge up a daddy-bear companion. We hope you found success, River Twink!
And finally, a cute shot of Jackson and me back at the Russian River Resort. Good times.
I'm going around lunchtime. Can't wait! My first Barney's Warehouse sale! And it's the first year it comes to San Francisco! It starts today and goes through August 9th! Okay that was too many exclamation marks, but I'm pretty stoked. This is the infamous shopping frenzy that leaves beauty queens spitting in each others faces and cunty gays jabbing their contenders with hair picks. Amazing! More deets here.
Today I woke up and decided to make the crazy trek to San Francisco's beautiful and historic Coit Tower. The tower (unintentionally) resembles a fireman's hose, and was built in 1933 with the backing of Lillie Hitchcock Coit who left a third of her estate to the city way back when. I've never made it up the crazy hills to get to the tower, which sits up around Telegraph Hill (famous for its parrots, which I saw/ heard squawking throughout the afternoon). But today I decided to best the hills and made the trek -- just over three miles from my friend's apartment in the Mission. I walked there AND back! Go me! Phew.
Jackson and I filmed what I can only say is a faaaaagulous installment here at the Russian River in Northern California. Very funny. Very cute. Will be up soon! Here's a screencap in the interim.
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Pam's House Blend
She's a fabulous North Carolinian blogging about politics, LGBT and women's rights, the influence of the far Right, and race relations. What more can I say?
