Today I went to an oral surgeon who happily removed three giant teeth from my face. A wisdom tooth isn't just any old tooth - after all, they don't call it that for anything. They are ginormous - the three extracted from my face were each roughly the size of baseballs. Or at least - now that they're gone, that's about the size of the wounds in their absence. I look like Don DeLuise - my neck is thick and jaw extremely wide from the inflammation. There will be no pictures, thanks.
It hurt. Oh merciful heavens above did it hurt. The doctor informed me upon arriving back on Planet Earth from Valium that he actually had to remove *bone* to get one of my teeth out. Bone. From where???? Where did this mysterious bone originate from? This I'm unsure of, but I can feel every little bit of it that he had to remove. Earlier today all I could do was sit up in bed and just attempt to think away the pain. And somewhere in the middle of that, I realized - fuck - I have Perciset! So I took two to attempt to pass out. But oh no - this pain wasn't just going to give up that easy. It shot back a furious anger that left me in a strange state between firy sleepless pain and two warm delicious Percisets. Eventually, though, good ol' Perc got the better end of the situation and I drifted off to sleep.
Here I sit at 1:00 AM, now, no one home but a few ants. The roomies went to NYC for the weekend. In my quest for liquified food I managed to discover something simply marvelous. I was sitting idly in the kitchen wondering what my tastebuds desired and I saw several things that intrigued me: Cheerios, fresh fruit, yogurt, and a blender. I wanted a fruit smoothie but I also wanted Cheerios. What to do? I put them all in a blender avec milk and pressed Chop. The result? Delicious love in my stomach. A small relief to the now starting-to-ebb pain.
And that, folks, is my sob story de la jour. I'm going to back to drug induced sleep and strange blender creations. Au revoir!